I’ve been wondering lately if my life will again be as awesome as it was before my mission. Now, that sentence may sound totally weird to you, but, I’ve got an explanation. Sacrifice is 100% REAL. It’s probably the root of every trial you face…think about it. Every hard thing you have to go through, you’re always giving up something.
In my study journal today, I asked the question, ” How can I make sure I’m a better, more confident version of myself when I return home?” I was expecting to get the answer in the upcoming General Conference this weekend, but instead, I got my answer within the hour. In D&C 98:17, it says, “And whoso layeth down his life in my cause, for my name’s sake, shall find it again, even life eternal.” Well, look at that. I’ll find my life again…and that life will be better and more confident…because it’s my eternal life. Problem solved.
I then came across a C.S. Lewis quote from his masterpiece, Mere Christianity. This not only blew my mind out of the water, but it also told me what to do with the answer I just got.
“Your real, new self (which is Christ’s and also yours, and yours just because it is His) will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Does that sound strange? The same principle holds, you know, for more everyday matters. Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom, Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end submit with every fiber of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.” -C.S. Lewis
I can’t wait until I can read that book…after my mission. Obedience first. But hello, give it up. I’m sprinting with a completely different baton in a completely different race. Once I get home, I’ll pick my previous baton back up, and continue in that race with the experience I had from this one. That will not only help me win the race, but I’ll lap everyone else that thought they could do it themselves. Man, I love my job.